


it felt right

by lanadelrhys



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Coming Out, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 01:30:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18297590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanadelrhys/pseuds/lanadelrhys
Summary: The Evil Within Valentines Day gift exchange for LadyShezka on twitter!Thank you to fuckyeahjoseb on Tumblr for running the gift exchange!-Joseph has something to tell Sebastian.





	it felt right

            Sebastian did not often go out with Joseph. Ever since Myra’s disappearance, it became harder and harder for the two of them to spend time together. Sebastian didn’t _want_ to spend time around Joseph. Joseph had this way of looking at him with pity in his eyes that was enough to make Sebastian frustrated before Joseph had even spoken a word.

 

            But tonight was different. Joseph had _insisted_ that it was important, and as much as Sebastian had wanted to decline, he hadn’t. The way Joseph had invited him to dinner so earnestly, Sebastian could not have said no in good conscience.

 

            On a normal Friday night at this time, Sebastian would have already started drinking. This night, however, he found himself staring at his reflection trying to decide what was appropriate. Joseph had only said “dinner” and that he was picking Sebastian up at his house, so Sebastian had no real way of knowing what was in store for him. Knowing Joseph, it was probably some place nicer than Sebastian would ever end up on his own accord, but that didn’t give Sebastian all that much to work with…

 

            He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a long sigh. He was still inspecting his own reflection noting, with some reservations, that he looked like shit. Sebastian never really wanted to say aloud that he had a problem, but as time progressed, it seemed to be getting harder and harder to ignore.

 

            Maybe this dinner was a good idea. It would get him out of the house and give him something other to do than wallow in self-pity.

           

            Sebastian stepped away from the mirror. Joseph would understand; he had seen Sebastian at far worse points. There was no real point in trying to hide any of this from Joseph because he would catch on to how Sebastian was feeling in less time than it took Sebastian to greet him. They had known each other for so long and Joseph had helped him through so much that he didn’t think it was necessary to hide from him. He might not want to admit his own problem, but he wasn’t going to hide it from the one last person who cared about him.

 

            So, Sebastian decided to direct his energy towards his dress. Joseph would likely be the only one he was seeing tonight that would be able to tell just how shitty he was feeling, but the rest of the restaurant’s patrons would definitely be able to tell if he was underdressed.

 

            He circled his bed, weighing the two options he had set out for himself. One, a navy three quarter shirt with black jeans. If he were going out for _himself_ , he wouldn’t even be considering the other option; a grey button up with a black blazer and slacks. Knowing Joseph, this was probably the more logistical option to take… but then again, Joseph could surprise him and take him to some sports bar. He certainly didn’t want to be caught in a sports bar in a _dress shirt_. The easiest solution to this problem would be to text Joseph and simply ask where they were going, but every time he had tried, Joseph had stonewalled him. Sebastian heaved a long sigh, reaching out for his outfit of choice.

 

-

 

Half an hour later, Sebastian was dressed and as cleaned up as he was going to get. He was standing underneath the awning of his apartment building, cigarette in hand. It was hard not to miss having your own backyard to smoke in when standing on Krimson’s streets on a Saturday night. It was barely past 7 PM and hoards of drunks were already roaming the streets. Sebastian wanted to feel annoyed at the inebriated college students walking past him, but he knew if it weren’t for Joseph, he would have been in a similar state of intoxication.

 

            These thoughts were pushed away from Sebastian as Joseph’s smooth black Honda pulled up in front of him. He flicked the cigarette butt away as the window rolled down.

 

            “You look like you’re looking for a good time.”

 

            Sebastian couldn’t help his chuckle as he approached Joseph’s car, entering into the passenger seat. “You look like you can show me a good time,” He replied with only a _slight_ eye roll. Joseph snorted in return, reaching for the radio dial and flipping it from his preferred classical station to Sebastian’s preferred classic rock station. They had spent enough time around each other, on the clock and off, that Joseph knew Sebastian would be complaining about the music in moments if he didn’t change it.

 

            Sebastian looked over to the driver’s seat, heart falling when he noticed Joseph’s attire. It was incredibly casual; his hair wasn’t even slicked back. Sebastian glanced at himself in the rearview, looking at his slicked hair and tie hanging around his neck. He couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed when Joseph spoke.

 

            “A tie? That’s not loosened? What’s the occasion, Seb?”

 

            “Well- I just thought…” Sebastian trailed off, eyes lingering on the leather jacket Joseph was wearing. That was enough to get a laugh out of Joseph. “You thought what? That I was gonna take you to some stuffy place downtown that you would _hate_? C’mon, I know you a little better than that. If I’m gonna pull you away from…”

  
  
            It was Joseph’s turn to trail off. Sebastian caught his eyes in the rearview, awkwardly clearing his throat. This uncomfortable atmosphere wasn’t standard for them at all. Even when Joseph was talking about Sebastian’s _problem_ , he was usually a little more direct. Joseph seemed nervous. Sebastian couldn’t quite put his finger on what the problem was, but he decided he could ask if Joseph didn’t get more comfortable by the time they reached the restaurant.

 

            “If I’m gonna pull you away from your Saturday night,” Joseph finally continued, “It better be a place you actually enjoy.” Sebastian smiled at that. It was nice that Joseph had been considering how he would feel, but he could feel himself getting more than a little self conscious at his dress.

 

-

 

            Getting a booth on a Saturday _and_ on a game night at a sports bar was no small feat, but Joseph managed it somehow. Sebastian watched in awe as Joseph approached him with two glasses in his hand, nodding over to a booth.

 

            “Come sit down over here,” Joseph said, gesturing to a corner booth, far away from the general crowd of the bar. As they sat down, Joseph swiped a small sign off of the table which was enough to get an eyebrow raise out of Sebastian.

 

            “What was that?” Sebastian asked as he slid down into one side of the booth.

 

            Joseph cleared his throat, looking away for a moment. “Well, I wanted to make sure we would get some place to sit,” he said with a shrug, “So I called them to set a booth aside.” Sebastian was still looking a little confused. “There’s always some stools by the bar, and we’d be closer to the booze,” he replied, taking a sip of the drink Joseph had handed him. _Water_. Sebastian gave Joseph an eye roll. Joseph broke into a laugh.  


  
            “Sorry,” He said, giving a shrug. He fell silent for a few moments, looking away from Sebastian. _The awkwardness was back_. Sebastian took a deep breath. He wanted to address this discomfort hanging heavy in the air, but he wasn’t sure how to approach it. He didn’t know what was causing it in the first place, and it wasn’t as if social situations had ever been Sebastian’s strong suit. He usually just waited for _someone else_ to solve the problem… but he wasn’t sure Joseph was going to get there by himself considering the way he was staring into his water glass.

 

            Mercifully, Sebastian was wrong.

 

            “And I think this is probably a conversation to have in…” Joseph looked around the bar for a moment, “Relative privacy.”

 

            That piqued Sebastian’s interest. He wasn’t sure what Joseph would want privacy to talk to him about. The only thing that really came to mind was the same thing Joseph _always_ wanted to talk with him about, but Joseph hadn’t seemed to have a problem bringing it up with their supervisors so privacy was thrown out the window at that point.

            Sebastian leaned back in his chair, attempting to look as casual as possible before asking his next question.

 

            “What do you mean?”

 

            “It’s not something I want everyone in Krimson knowing,” Joseph replied, looking up and meeting Sebastian’s eyes. Sebastian could see a thin film of sweat on Joseph’s brow. He _was_ nervous. Sebastian had no idea what this could be about. Sebastian took a sip of his water, keeping his gaze on Joseph.

 

            “And I don’t think I’m ready to tell anyone else. You’re the person I think I am ready to tell,” Joseph continued, getting quieter. Sebastian instinctively leaned a little closer to be able to hear him.

 

            “Sebastian, I’m getting a divorce.”

 

            Sebastian couldn’t help his reaction. He leaned back in his chair and tried to pick his jaw off the floor.

 

            “-You’re… getting a divorce? Why?”

  
  
            Joseph was never one to talk about his problems, but Sebastian was pretty sure he would have been able to tell if his partner was on the brink of getting a divorce. Joseph hadn’t mentioned so much as a fight.

 

            Again, Joseph got quiet. Sebastian wasn’t sure why he was still so nervous considering he had already said what he came here to say… unless Joseph had _more_ to say.

           

            “I… guess that’s what I brought here to talk about. I realized that it wasn’t really what I wanted in the first place. We got married because it was what we thought we were supposed to do, not because it was what we wanted.”

 

            Sebastian was still awestruck. He couldn’t even begin to comprehend what Joseph was talking about.

 

            “So… you decide to get a divorce because you just didn’t want to be married anymore? You didn’t try to get counseling or anything?” Sebastian couldn’t help the accusatory tone in his voice. He couldn’t imagine being so unappreciative of the person you married.

 

            “I didn’t just make this decision overnight, Sebastian,” Joseph quickly replied, “But there’s not a lot you can do when you’re not attracted to someone.” His tone was earnest, but all it managed to do was frustrate Sebastian even more.

 

“What the hell do you mean? You’re not attracted to your _wife_?”

 

Joseph fell silent, continuing to stare into his water glass. He looked like he was considering what he was going to say.

“Is that what you’re trying to say? You don’t love your wife?” Sebastian continued, the same edge still in his tone.

 

“Sebastian, I’m gay! I married my wife because it’s what I thought I should do. She knew then and she knows now. It’s not exactly like this has come out of the blue. I’ve always loved her as a friend, but I’m tired of pretending. We both are. Will you please stop talking like I’m a bad person for this?”

 

Yet again, Sebastian was stunned into silence. He stared at Joseph, unable to think of what to say. Moments dragged on.

 

“Please, just say something,” Joseph said, eyes pleading.

 

Sebastian was finally able to find his voice when he saw Joseph looking at him like that. “Oh… I- I’m glad you told me.”

 

 

-

 

The rest of the time at the bar had been spent in awkward conversation. Joseph had dropped the topic almost as soon as he had brought it up, and Sebastian had been happy to oblige. After an hour or so of talking about work or the latest episode of CSI, the two had decided it was time to call it a night.

 

Joseph’s car pulled up in front of Sebastian’s apartment complex, but Sebastian wasn’t moving for the door. He felt frozen. All he could do was look towards Joseph who was looking right back at him.

 

“Thank you for coming out with me tonight. I appreciate it. I’m sure you would have preferred to be anywhere else.”

 

Sebastian still felt as if he were frozen, but he could feel that he was moving. He was leaning closer to Joseph, over the center console. Joseph began to look at him with confusion, but his expression quickly changed to one of understanding. Joseph was soon leaning forward as well.

 

Sebastian had no idea what he was doing, but his lips were on Joseph’s. Joseph’s hand was on his cheek, and Sebastian’s hand was cupping the back of Joseph’s head.

 

 

 

Sebastian had no idea what he was doing, or what this meant, but he knew that this felt right.


End file.
